The Return

     Well, after a brief hiatus, the blog is back! I've had a few weeks to recover from my time on the road, and woke up this morning with an intense desire to regale readers with more of my biting wit and enlightening insights. Hopefully, there will be more fanfare and general rejoicing about this than there was upon my return to New Jersey.
   

"He's home! He's home!"

      By my own admission, I do have an overactive imagination. I fantasized of returning to NJ to a reception fit for an astronaut coming back from the first manned trip to Mars, or perhaps a triumphant medieval king returning in glorious victory after years of fighting off the barbarian hordes. A few days after my arrival, the town would throw a parade in my honor, led by my high school marching band, and with me perched atop the crown jewel of the marching celebrants, a giant Chevy Cavalier made out of dyed green gladioluses (gladioli?). Alas, instead of returning to my home state to find the trees adorned with yellow ribbons, my only welcome was a $230 ticket I received for littering when I flicked a cigarette butt out the window just after crossing the Ben Franklin Bridge. I admit, it was a callous and douchey thing to do, but the penalty seems steep. At those prices, you'd think I'd dumped an old sofa on the A.C. Expressway instead one measly cigarette butt. Oh well, I digress...

The cause of the most expensive ticket I've ever gotten...

     As Shakespeare once said, "the blog's the thing," which I have found to be true after talking to readers. A typical example of what I've heard from people who've followed it is such:

"Gee, Frank, I really enjoyed the blog. Your humorous style of prose, and excellent grammar and vocabulary are quite appealing; clearly your powerful mind is the perfect complement to your rugged good looks. I do have a question for you, though. After traveling 10,000+ miles through 27 states, I thought there would be, well...more. You've teased at other adventures and sure-to-be hilarious anecdotes. Other than taking you out for the evening and plying you with drinks, how can I hear these intriguing tales?"

     Well, there's good news for the many who asked the preceding question. I'm currently working on a full narrative of the trip, a book titled, Frank, American Style: The Incredible Journey of Two Young Men and How They Found Themselves, Redemption, Awe, Grief, Wonder, The Hidden City of Gold, Sorrow, Love, Joy, Happiness, Indigestion, The Meaning of Life, Each Other, Bison Burgers, and A Really Nice Comfortable Pair of Socks For Under $1. (Title length pending). This will be a complete and comprehensive (buzzword alert!) volume including all the as-yet-unheard adventures you're surely salivating for.

Mmmm...more blog...

     Of course, writing this is going to take some time, so in the meanwhile, I plan on blogging much like I did on the trip, but on more mundane and day-to-day topics. Check back soon, and often, for I already have a few knocking about in my cerebrum, and almost ready to be penned, such as: "Words You Don't Hear So Much Anymore," and "Notes on the Sub-Dioecious Pine." They sound like literary home-runs already!