Highway is a Life, I Wanna Ride it All Night Long

     Life on the road is a far cry from the comforts of a nice house in a nice part of town with nice neighbors. Life on the road is not nice. It takes a lot out of you. It can chew you up and spit you out if you don't adapt. It's not nice, but I was sick of nice. I wanted an adventure. A dirty, smelly, dangerous adventure. Boy, did I get what I wanted! But I wouldn't want it any other way. I've already started to conform to this new lifestyle, and I have to say, I like it.

Nope, life on the road is nowhere near this hip, or sexual.

     The thing you don't realize about a road trip like this is that your car becomes not only your mode of transportation, but also your closet, dining room, staging area, and in rare instances when you're in the middle of nowhere and a plastic bottle is handy, your bathroom. Take your life, and all the places that accomodate it, then compress them into a 2-door, 4 cylinder coupe. Oh yeah, and then halve that, because there's two of you traveling in this mobile apartment.

     

     Everything becomes a process. You finally make camp for the night, are enjoying the space and open air outside of the car, and realize you forgot to get your spoon out of the "gear bag." Open the car door, move the bag of dirty laundry to the left, the backpack full of electronics to the right, and throw the tote bag full of maps and books into the dirt because its just really been annoying the shit out of you all day. 

Here, jam this in your back seat.

     Success, gear bag located! Unzip it, dig past the cook set, the rain poncho, the windproof lighter, and there it is - the utensil bag! Open the plastic bag, shift the tongs out of the way, shove the spatula down farther, and toss the ketchup packets. Finally, you've reached the goal of your search, the spoon, which will allow you to enjoy baked beans like a human, and not a bear scooping them into its mouth with its paw. Walk back to camp, and prepare to enjoy....

     ...until you realize you need a fork and knife for your steak.