Newsflash---Mythological "Small-town America" found!

     I could hardly believe it, but I've found something in my travels I thought to be a legend. Something lost to the pages of history long ago, much like the fabled continent of Atlantis. Out there, away from the Wal-Marts and the Burger Kings, lies something so well hidden, many thought it extinct.

     Small-town America.

     It's real, everyone. I've seen it with my own eyes. At first, I thought it a trick, but no, it was there. Not the glorious mirage I thought at first, but tangible - concrete, wood, and glass.

This photo is not doctored, and taken today, 8/28/2010

     The spirit of Mayberry exists, and lives on in such places as Breezewood, PA, Sheffield, OH, and Manistique, MI. Driving down Main Street, you might see a kindly old man in bib overalls and a John Deere cap making his morning constitutional to the post office. Or perhaps you might espy little Janie Jones on the sidewalk, playing hopscotch, her braids flapping with each jump. Passing the old movie theater (usually The Majestic, but sometimes The Royal), you'll notice they turned it into a cute antique shop after it closed back in '86. The cops (or should I say, "cop") hangs out down at Irma's diner between patrols, and Mrs. McKeller is out on her porch every morning to make sure her red-white-and-blue bunting is hanging evenly.

The homeowner's association recommends at least three per each porch.

     It's a throwback, and an oddity to me, a child of suburban sprawl. To be honest, it made me a little nervous. Every smiling neighbor, every general store, I became more unsettled. I was convinced I had wandered into a Twilight Zone episode. At any moment, these Middle-Americans might turn, eyes glazed over, and haul me off to be sacrificed to their corn god. I searched frantically for something familiar... a Taco Bell, a 7-11, anything owned by a good old-fashioned corporation. Safety lie beneath their fluorescent lights and neon signs. Thankfully, once I got close to any interstate, my old friends welcomed me with open arms. Nice, homogeneous, corporate arms. 

Ahh, sweet relief!

      Soon, the corporations will expand their influence even farther, and these small towns will be swallowed up and the locations of the former Community Halls will now be toilet aisles in a Home Depot. The fudge shoppes will be gone, replaced by the tweens' clothing section of a Target. What I thought was only a legend will eventually become just that. Except for in old episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. Which you can buy in the TV on DVD section of your local Best Buy.