Preparations A-G

     A decade-old pipe dream is now soon to become a reality for me. This trip is something that's been talked about for so long, but no one actually believed it would ever happen. Kinda like when Rocky Balboa ended up really getting made...or the fourth Rambo...or The Expendables. Stallone may now resemble Cher, but you've got to admire his persistence if not his creepy new raccoon eyes.

Coming soon: Rhinestone - The Return!

 

 

 

     Anyway, you can't undertake a trip like this without at least a little planning (believe me, I've tried to do as little as possible). Much like dating, there's a certain amount of work that, no matter how little you wish to do it, you just have to suck it up and "Git-R-Done" (why?) if you want to have a good time. Sort of the transportation equivalent of going to see Charlie St. Cloud with your girlfriend in the hopes it might result in a BJ for you later. So, what back-breaking tasks have I busied myself with in order to get ready? Um...well, I paid someone else to fix my car for me. Yeah, that was no joke! I had to WALK a half mile to go pick up my car when it was done. Let's see, also I went up in the attic (which was uncomfortably warm, I'll have you know!) to get down the sleeping bags... OK, I didn't actually go up there yet - the ladder was heavy, and it at least looked uncomfortably warm up there. But I'm going to have to do it at some point, so that still kind of counts.

     Proving what a child of the 21st century I am, I'd have to say the majority of my actual preparations so far have been technology-related. I bought a GPS, which makes me feel important. Except I'm going to call it a "SatNav" like the fancy people in London do. I've bloated my iPod with even more songs that I'll probably forget are even on the thing. Hey, what can I say? I sleep better at night knowing the soundtrack to Car Wash is always right at the tips of my fingers. I started using an app on my Droid called Foursquare. Despite Apple's best advertising, I still immediately think of mozzarella sticks anytime I hear the term "app". Foursquare registers your location via satellite and allows you to "check-in" pretty much anywhere in the country. It lists everything from convenience stores and churches to bars and strip clubs. It keeps a record of everywhere you go at the exact time you were there. It's terribly chic, and hipsters everywhere probably use it constantly to let their friends know when they're at the liquor store buying another six-pack of Tecate.

1st result, Google image search: "hipster douche"

 You can share this info on facebook or wherever, but I figure I'll be magnanimous and spare everyone the delight of knowing when I had to pull over at a rest stop outside of Helena to take a shit after all that Arby's I ate back in Butte. The main reason I'll use Foursquare is for records, so I'll know what days I did what while on this trip. I'm pretty sure that's going to be vital information at some point. Yeah. Probably.